I’m learning to love everything for what it is, as it is.
Being grateful and present are my keys to persevere without overwhelming thoughts.
I’m learning to love everything for what it is, as it is.
Being grateful and present are my keys to persevere without overwhelming thoughts.
My Gosh! It’s been so long!
I hope all of you are doing well as you journey thru life. Its one beautiful challenge isn’t it?
I miss connecting with you so much! Although I have not blogged much over this past year, I frequented Instagram until recently deleting my account. I apologize to anyone that relied on me for support or inspiration via social media. Focusing and becoming my best self will allow me to help others that much more! I have so much development to do to achieve my dreams. Above any dream or the subconscious reason behind my dreams is my calling to help and love others. As I grow and dig deeper within myself, my ability to heal becomes greater and my vision becomes clearer.
I am not sure when I’ll be ready to step back into the light, nor how I will go about it. I’m on God’s time; please be patient my loves. In the meanwhile I want to plant a seed of hope in your hearts. When I began losing weight I was lonely, negative, unhealthy, and life seemed to happen to me. At the time I did not expect to reach my goals, they were just dreams. If you’ve found it in your mind to believe in me, it’s only right that you find it in your heart to believe in yourself!
I believe in you!
No more fear,
No more pain,
It’s time to heal
A Journey Full of Health
Hopelessness is something I have battled throughout my life.
By way of thinking, everything gets overwhelming,
Your preferred outcome feels impossible,
You may even lose sight of your light.
My love, those are the times you pray the hardest
I testify that we are not in this alone,
Thru your suffering there is a lesson to be learned,
Call on God,
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO RELY ON YOUR OWN STRENGHT ALONE!
Honestly, this summer God got me thru.
I will not say:
Everything always worked out the way I wanted
When I wanted it to
Nor how I preferred it to.
I will say,
Everything works out in the end
God determines the end; not us
So keep fighting
You never know how close you are to your break thru!I can sense we’re approaching my next break thru
Be LIGHT, I love you—-Bianca Jazmine
In fall 2013 I began to eat the 6 small meals a day (looking back some of my meals weren’t so small, lol) in the spring I added in drinking eater throughout the day as well. Not allowing myself to get that starving feeling for more than 5-20 minutes worked wonders. However, as soon as I crave food for more that 30 minutes my body and mind go hammm “Fuck it, I want fried chicken now!” That’s exactly what we want to avoid, don’t even allow your compulsive eating to turn up, prepare!
How to prepare:
0. Figure out your body & how eating works best for it. I need lots of food in the morning my first 2-3 meals don’t come soon enough! So I know I can’t BS during breakfast-snack1-lunch-time.
1. Plan out which times you can eat throughout the day. I suggest every 2-2.5 hours.
2. Meal prep, as many meals as you can for the week. I prep dinner, sometimes lunch, almost never breakfast. (Please eat a real breakfast, filled w/ energy boosters & nutrition, not left overs!)
3. Take your prepped meals with you! Take your snacks as well! Hide a few snacks in your car or purse for just in case. Stay strapped with some healthy food man, you never know when you’ll get hungry. That very hunger will lead you to the nearest fast food joint wasting money, a workout, & EVEN some time off your lifespan (google for the exact #)!
4. Drink water. Okay so I’m guessing a lot of us are stuck in our oral phase. We need to have things going on in our mouth (don’t think nasty). Drinking water really helps with that! Water also helps you feel fuller, faster, & longer that just eating alone.
5. This compulsive eating is some low-down-mental-voodoo we cast on ourselves. So the best preparation of all is knowing how to talk yourself off that binge eating ledge.
I hope that helps, I missed y’all ❤️ We gone beat this!
Love is simple.
It’s one of the most innate human behaviors following our survival instincts.
Loving is just offering your gifts and talents freely for the benefit of others.
Love is considering someone else and inventing in them for genuine reasons.
I honestly feel humans are pro social beings because we are here to love on each other, other animals and our home the earth. One would not exist without the other, we can be independent individuals but as a system we a codependent.
I understand the fear of : rejection, neglect, pain. But those are the things that make you grow! They teach us lessons that should help us love more not less. Once you realize life is going to happen, we all are going to suffer at some point, you start to accept that all you can do is be you. You can’t avoid pain, but you should allow fear to prevent you from healing and using you gifts to heal others.
Love yourself, so you can love everyone deserving of your love💓
Prior to beginning my journey I felt helpless, full of negativity and essentially fear. That’s not to say that I don’t still have my moments, hours, of being filled with anxiety about something. However, I don’t allow it to take over my life, affect my relationships with people, and create me into someone I regret being. I find myself figuring out why I feel fearful and overcoming it, that what you call self-help. Being healthy allows you to help yourself. I love speaking to mentors, my grandmother, and others I admire about things. However, I have been come self-reliant enough to sort through my darkness independently; in fact that’s what we always do it just takes a longer time and we are not conscious of it. Talking to others only help temporarily relieve us of our internal battles (darkness). We only resolve problems after we understand what the root of it is for us and only we know our own truth. Our mentors, give great advice but they have had their own experiences developing their own triggers and limits this means they can only help us so much. We can talk things through with others, but self-talk is the healer.
Self-help is the most empowering thing anyone can use throughout life. It means you take matters into your own hands and do what you need to do to be where and what you want to be. Instead of feeling overcome, you take steps to overcome doubt, fear, anxiety, and anything else holding you back from happiness. As I move forward into my profession, the urge to help one’s self will be the one thing I require of all my patients, clients, and friends. It means the person is healthy or working to become healthy.
I’ve come to realize life, especially American life is full of stressors and unreasonable demands. In order to survive without, addiction, abuse, and sickness we have to become healthy. We have to be able to not let negativity make our growth become stagnant which is exactly what happens to a lot of people. How many people do you know that have been at the same level of maturity, intellect, fitness, maybe even economic status for several years? Or that mention the athlete, beautician, singer, magician, they could have been? Chances are, they allowed an obstacle to make them feel helpless and they retreated to a life of comfort and convenience. I want more, I want fulfillment, how about you?
I know when I talk I make things sound easy. It’s not, I struggle with remaining optimistic all the time. However, I am a lot better than I was a few months ago. I’ll one day build an expertise in positivity because just as anyone else willing to work for it, I deserve happiness. To reassure you, I’ll give a personal experience of mine that recently required me to use self-help and self-talk. I am a college senior and it’s hard for me. You see, I am a hard working goal oriented person. For the first time in my life I don’t know what goal I should pursue next, leaving me feeling confused, and inactive. I am also a blossoming young woman that likes to think of herself a young Queen, created just the way she was meant to be. This confidence is foreign to me and attracts people like no other. I am at a life transition and feeling like a young adult independently taking care of myself. Plus dating has recently become of interest to me.
I recently had a great connection with someone, and have been having a lot of obstacles while applying to the graduate program of my choice. I felt the urge to sleep, constant butterflies, and more frequent day dreams. Instead of not doing my course work and sleeping my life away I noticed the changes and began to self-talk to figure out what the hell was going on with me. Well I was anxious because I am an impatient person. I used self-help and began to research what it really means to be impatient so I could get to the bottom of it. I found that: impatient people live in fear of missing out on something. Missing out meaning:being unable to squeeze the maximum value out of every single second of life, being stuck in the present moment’s activity when the most important thing in life lies in the future, and being unable to do all that needs doing before death strikes. Furthermore, I looked into examples of what impatient people do and found that for the most part I have been doing them for majority of my life. A couple includes, rushing through things, not tolerating failure or slowness in myself, a constant need to being prepared, and reacting aggressively to hold ups. Then I wondered what could have caused this, where did the fear come from? Well this articles goes into a few things impatient people may have experienced and something that really applies is early negative experiences with being excluded and a couple others. The bottom line being is I am now aware of what the cause of my anxiety is and I have to tools to talk myself out of negative feelings with being anxious occurs.
I hope this example helps you. Notice your negativity, Self-talk and self-help, will aid in your Journey Full of Health, remember this is a journey not a destination. ❤
I hope your all having a great Sunday & starting the week off right! Today marks the end of my Spring Break. I spent majority of break concerned with what I am going to do with the rest of my life and how I’m going to make it through the rest of this semester. I know I am not in control of my future; I can only work hard and be faithful. I look forward to breaking my habit of stressing about things. On a positive note, I stress much less than I did a few months of go, so I know things will get better in the future! In the meanwhile, I must enjoy the journey. Its the struggles in between start-finish that create the final product and equips us with tools to maintain it.
Today my Mom and puppy-doggy-bestiefriend-sister-bighomie, came to visit! I’ve been looking forward to seeing them alllllllllll week. Her name is Missy, Missy-Pooh to be exact. When they got here, Missy was super anxious. She wouldn’t sit still for anything, I think she thought my mom was going to leave her lol. Plus she has not seen me since Christmas. I took her out to use the bathroom a couple times and she barely used it, that’s a sign of her being uncomfortable. We all ate brunch and I decided to take her for a little tour of BG.
We did HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) meaning we ran for short distances then walked. She doesn’t get walks often so it was just as much an exercise for her as it was for me. In fact, I outran her at times. Which is surprising when consider the fact that a year ago she used to drag me down the street and walk me lol. We went from my apartment to the pond on my college campus where I stopped and let her explore a little. She likes geese! So much so she tried to leave me for them.
I finally understand what it feels like to actually enjoy exercise. Although this was a simply activity, I had so much fun. It was a great bonding time for Missy and I. Once we got back to my apartment she felt at home and relaxed. It was great for me to see how much I have grown and trained to the point of handling walking her. I used to hate walking her because she was so strong and I was out of shape. But now, its liberating. She got to use her pent up energy from the two hour car ride here. While I got to workout in the open with someone that makes me feel safe. Normally I have to be aware of my environment but with her I was able to relax, observe nature, look at the sky, really become conscious of my surrounding and the beauty I overlook daily.
While we are on our journeys so often we focus on the next goal and forget about the progress we have made thus far. That goes for academia, careers, fitness, parenting, and any other area of life we value improving in. It’s important to take time out and reflect on how far you’ve come. It gives us the confidence to say we may not make it there overnight, but we are going to reach our goals. Appreciate life, its so much greatness around us that we allow stress & fear to make us overlook. There is always going to be another goal, and more obstacles which is why we have to take the time out to enjoy ourselves. Do something that makes you happy at least 2 Sundays out of the month for at least an hour is a great start. Call it Sunday-Funday the time you take to create a positive experience, add it to your agenda as you would any other important task. Try it and let me know how it goes, I’m almost sure it will give energy/clarity to refocus on your goals and believe in yourself. After today I know I’m going to have faith in my journey without stressing what graduate program I get into and I’m going to kick this semester in the butt to earn great grades!
After yesterday’s post I broke my eating regiment again. I woke up knowing I needed to do more. Over eating just isn’t for me and only occurs at night time. So as usual I did more research. I want an online support community and in time I’ll invest in building one. For now, I came across oa.org, a non profit that offers 12 step sessions for over eaters. They have twelve steps with twelve principles plus twelve traditions that tie them internationally to the same regulations.
Here’s what I found (visit the site for more info):
OA is not just about weight loss, weight gain or maintenance, or obesity or diets. It addresses physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. It is not a religious organization and does not promote any particular diet.
The Twelve Steps of Overeaters Anonymous
We admitted we were powerless over food — that our lives had become unmanageable.
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to compulsive overeaters and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Step One: Honesty
Step Two: Hope
Step Three: Faith
Step Four: Courage
Step Five: Integrity
Step Six: Willingness
Step Seven: Humility
Step Eight: Self-discipline
Step Nine: Love for others
Step Ten: Perseverance
Step Eleven: Spiritual Awareness
Step Twelve: Service
Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon OA unity.
For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority — a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
The only requirement for OA membership is a desire to stop eating compulsively.
Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or OA as a whole.
Each group has but one primary purpose — to carry its message to the compulsive overeater who still suffers.
An OA group ought never endorse, finance or lend the OA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
Every OA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
Overeaters Anonymous should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
OA, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
Overeaters Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the OA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films, television and other public media of communication.
Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all these Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.
I do get a religious vibe even tho the website says they have no political or religious views. I know for some that may pose as something you want to take into consideration. It’s free, I think it’s worth looking into maybe even attending a meeting? I’m going to see if I can join a local program, it’ll definitely help and it couldn’t hurt.
In our case, addiction involves us repeatedly eating for some form of pleasure or relief even though we understand it’s not healthy for us.
(Many more they are genuine to each individual)
We experience some kind of trigger and in return eat our problems away. The only bad part is we feel bad afterwards, its unhealthy, and our problems are still there. We have to learn to deal with our triggers in healthy ways. As I stated in my previous post, most people have addictions. It’s hard dealing with life’s obstacles and maintaining balance. Triggers cause people to overindulge or use things for relief. In fact, when most of us developed our eating addictions we were not aware. I developed mine as a child and I had no idea it would have these life long implications. I just found pleasure in flavor and relief through eating.
I can say that little by little our addictions can become less significant. They will not control us for ever and we can develop skills to avoid relapse.
I define compulsive eating as the desire to eat for comfort. Food haunts us at times, like any other obsessive thought once you develop a food desire its hard to free your mind of it. This serves as a problem because both over and under eating affects our nutritional level. Over consuming food can deter results and under eating food causes deficiency. We need balance by eating for nourishment.
If you’re seeking to become healthier and suffer from compulsive eating this may be your biggest battle. Understand that this addiction can be overcome and that it’s something you will work on for the remainder of your life. YOU CAN DO IT! Its important to understand what emotional eating is, to mindfully address your impulses. In doing research I came across great information about emotional eating on the HelpGuide.org website, they are a nonprofit that provide a lot of self help information. Visit the site for more detailed information.
Hunger that comes on suddenly.
Craves only certain foods.
Leads to mindless eating.
Leaves you unsatisfied when even after your full.
Is not located in your stomach.
Often times leads to regret, guilt, or shame.
If you experience these things in relationship with eating your likely an emotional eater. That’s okay, the first step is recognizing the problem. Now you can address these urges as they come and begin to talk yourself out of it. I write, draw, meditate, or deal with whats causing me stress head on when I feel my compulsive eating coming. I stop and self talk: “Bianca, your not hungry what’s really bothering you?” Most people have some form of addiction they retreat to for comfort, food is ours. This is the first step to kicking that addiction and replacing it with something positive.
Again for more information: http://www.helpguide.org/life/emotional_eating_stress_cravings.htm
Quick summary I am Bianca Jazmine: