Tag Archives: black health

The Beginning: Self-talk and Self-Help

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Prior to beginning my journey I felt helpless, full of negativity and essentially fear. That’s not to say that I don’t still have my moments, hours, of being filled with anxiety about something. However, I don’t allow it to take over my life, affect my relationships with people, and create me into someone I regret being. I find myself figuring out why I feel fearful and overcoming it, that what you call self-help. Being healthy allows you to help yourself. I love speaking to mentors, my grandmother, and others I admire about things. However, I have been come self-reliant enough to sort through my darkness independently; in fact that’s what we always do it just takes a longer time and we are not conscious of it. Talking to others only help temporarily relieve us of our internal battles (darkness). We only resolve problems after we understand what the root of it is for us and only we know our own truth. Our mentors, give great advice but they have had their own experiences developing their own triggers and limits this means they can only help us so much. We can talk things through with others, but self-talk is the healer.

Self-help is the most empowering thing anyone can use throughout life. It means you take matters into your own hands and do what you need to do to be where and what you want to be. Instead of feeling overcome, you take steps to overcome doubt, fear, anxiety, and anything else holding you back from happiness. As I move forward into my profession, the urge to help one’s self will be the one thing I require of all my patients, clients, and friends. It means the person is healthy or working to become healthy.

I’ve come to realize life, especially American life is full of stressors and unreasonable demands. In order to survive without, addiction, abuse, and sickness we have to become healthy. We have to be able to not let negativity make our growth become stagnant which is exactly what happens to a lot of people. How many people do you know that have been at the same level of maturity, intellect, fitness, maybe even economic status for several years?  Or that mention the athlete, beautician, singer, magician, they could have been? Chances are, they allowed an obstacle to make them feel helpless and they retreated to a life of comfort and convenience. I want more, I want fulfillment, how about you?

I know when I talk I make things sound easy. It’s not, I struggle with remaining optimistic all the time. However, I am a lot better than I was a few months ago. I’ll one day build an expertise in positivity because just as anyone else willing to work for it, I deserve happiness. To reassure you, I’ll give a personal experience of mine that recently required me to use self-help and self-talk. I am a college senior and it’s hard for me. You see, I am a hard working goal oriented person. For the first time in my life I don’t know what goal I should pursue next, leaving me feeling confused, and inactive. I am also a blossoming young woman that likes to think of herself a young Queen, created just the way she was meant to be. This confidence is foreign to me and attracts people like no other. I am at a life transition and feeling like a young adult independently taking care of myself. Plus dating has recently become of interest to me.

I recently had a great connection with someone, and have been having a lot of obstacles while applying to the graduate program of my choice. I felt the urge to sleep, constant butterflies, and more frequent day dreams. Instead of not doing my course work and sleeping my life away I noticed the changes and began to self-talk to figure out what the hell was going on with me. Well I was anxious because I am an impatient person. I used self-help and began to research what it really means to be impatient so I could get to the bottom of it. I found that: impatient people live in fear of missing out on something. Missing out meaning:being unable to squeeze the maximum value out of every single second of life, being stuck in the present moment’s activity when the most important thing in life lies in the future, and being unable to do all that needs doing before death strikes. Furthermore, I looked into examples of what impatient people do and found that for the most part I have been doing them for majority of my life. A couple includes, rushing through things, not tolerating failure or slowness in myself, a constant need to being prepared, and reacting aggressively to hold ups. Then I wondered what could have caused this, where did the fear come from? Well this articles goes into a few things impatient people may have experienced and something that really applies is early negative experiences with being excluded and a couple others. The bottom line being is I am now aware of what the cause of my anxiety is and I have to tools to talk myself out of negative feelings with being anxious occurs.

I hope this example helps you. Notice your negativity, Self-talk and self-help, will aid in your Journey Full of Health, remember this is a journey not a destination. ❤

 

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Positive Experience: Sunday-Funday

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I hope your all having a great Sunday & starting the week off right! Today marks the end of my Spring Break. I spent majority of break concerned with what I am going to do with the rest of my life and how I’m going to make it through the rest of this semester. I know I am not in control of my future; I can only work hard and be faithful. I look forward to breaking my habit of stressing about things. On a positive note, I stress much less than I did a few months of go, so I know things will get better in the future! In the meanwhile, I must enjoy the journey. Its the struggles in between start-finish that create the final product and equips us with tools to maintain it.

Today my Mom and puppy-doggy-bestiefriend-sister-bighomie, came to visit! I’ve been looking forward to seeing them alllllllllll week. Her name is Missy, Missy-Pooh to be exact. When they got here, Missy was super anxious. She wouldn’t sit still for anything, I think she thought my mom was going to leave her lol. Plus she has not seen me since Christmas. I took her out to use the bathroom a couple times and she barely used it, that’s a sign of her being uncomfortable. We all ate brunch and I decided to take her for a little tour of BG.

We did HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) meaning we ran for short distances then walked. She doesn’t get walks often so it was just as much an exercise for her as it was for me. In fact, I outran her at times. Which is surprising when consider the fact that a year ago she used to drag me down the street and walk me lol. We went from my apartment to the pond on my college campus where I stopped and let her explore a little. She likes geese! So much so she tried to leave me for them.

I finally understand what it feels like to actually enjoy exercise. Although this was a simply activity, I had so much fun. It was a great bonding time for Missy and I. Once we got back to my apartment she felt at home and relaxed. It was great for me to see how much I have grown and trained to the point of handling walking her. I used to hate walking her because she was so strong and I was out of shape. But now, its liberating. She got to use her pent up energy from the two hour car ride here. While I got to workout in the open with someone that makes me feel safe. Normally I have to be aware of my environment but with her I was able to relax, observe nature, look at the sky, really become conscious of my surrounding and the beauty I overlook daily. 

While we are on our journeys so often we focus on the next goal and forget about the progress we have made thus far. That goes for academia, careers, fitness, parenting, and any other area of life we value improving in. It’s important to take time out and reflect on how far you’ve come. It gives us the confidence to say we may not make it there overnight, but we are going to reach our goals. Appreciate life, its so much greatness around us that we allow stress & fear to make us overlook. There is always going to be another goal, and more obstacles which is why we have to take the time out to enjoy ourselves. Do something that makes you happy at least 2 Sundays out of the month for at least an hour is a great start. Call it Sunday-Funday the time you take to create a positive experience, add it to your agenda as you would any other important task. Try it and let me know how it goes, I’m almost sure it will give energy/clarity to refocus on your goals and believe in yourself. After today I know I’m going to have faith in my journey without stressing what graduate program I get into and I’m going to kick this semester in the butt to earn great grades! 

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