Tag Archives: health

The Beginning: Self-talk and Self-Help

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Prior to beginning my journey I felt helpless, full of negativity and essentially fear. That’s not to say that I don’t still have my moments, hours, of being filled with anxiety about something. However, I don’t allow it to take over my life, affect my relationships with people, and create me into someone I regret being. I find myself figuring out why I feel fearful and overcoming it, that what you call self-help. Being healthy allows you to help yourself. I love speaking to mentors, my grandmother, and others I admire about things. However, I have been come self-reliant enough to sort through my darkness independently; in fact that’s what we always do it just takes a longer time and we are not conscious of it. Talking to others only help temporarily relieve us of our internal battles (darkness). We only resolve problems after we understand what the root of it is for us and only we know our own truth. Our mentors, give great advice but they have had their own experiences developing their own triggers and limits this means they can only help us so much. We can talk things through with others, but self-talk is the healer.

Self-help is the most empowering thing anyone can use throughout life. It means you take matters into your own hands and do what you need to do to be where and what you want to be. Instead of feeling overcome, you take steps to overcome doubt, fear, anxiety, and anything else holding you back from happiness. As I move forward into my profession, the urge to help one’s self will be the one thing I require of all my patients, clients, and friends. It means the person is healthy or working to become healthy.

I’ve come to realize life, especially American life is full of stressors and unreasonable demands. In order to survive without, addiction, abuse, and sickness we have to become healthy. We have to be able to not let negativity make our growth become stagnant which is exactly what happens to a lot of people. How many people do you know that have been at the same level of maturity, intellect, fitness, maybe even economic status for several years?  Or that mention the athlete, beautician, singer, magician, they could have been? Chances are, they allowed an obstacle to make them feel helpless and they retreated to a life of comfort and convenience. I want more, I want fulfillment, how about you?

I know when I talk I make things sound easy. It’s not, I struggle with remaining optimistic all the time. However, I am a lot better than I was a few months ago. I’ll one day build an expertise in positivity because just as anyone else willing to work for it, I deserve happiness. To reassure you, I’ll give a personal experience of mine that recently required me to use self-help and self-talk. I am a college senior and it’s hard for me. You see, I am a hard working goal oriented person. For the first time in my life I don’t know what goal I should pursue next, leaving me feeling confused, and inactive. I am also a blossoming young woman that likes to think of herself a young Queen, created just the way she was meant to be. This confidence is foreign to me and attracts people like no other. I am at a life transition and feeling like a young adult independently taking care of myself. Plus dating has recently become of interest to me.

I recently had a great connection with someone, and have been having a lot of obstacles while applying to the graduate program of my choice. I felt the urge to sleep, constant butterflies, and more frequent day dreams. Instead of not doing my course work and sleeping my life away I noticed the changes and began to self-talk to figure out what the hell was going on with me. Well I was anxious because I am an impatient person. I used self-help and began to research what it really means to be impatient so I could get to the bottom of it. I found that: impatient people live in fear of missing out on something. Missing out meaning:being unable to squeeze the maximum value out of every single second of life, being stuck in the present moment’s activity when the most important thing in life lies in the future, and being unable to do all that needs doing before death strikes. Furthermore, I looked into examples of what impatient people do and found that for the most part I have been doing them for majority of my life. A couple includes, rushing through things, not tolerating failure or slowness in myself, a constant need to being prepared, and reacting aggressively to hold ups. Then I wondered what could have caused this, where did the fear come from? Well this articles goes into a few things impatient people may have experienced and something that really applies is early negative experiences with being excluded and a couple others. The bottom line being is I am now aware of what the cause of my anxiety is and I have to tools to talk myself out of negative feelings with being anxious occurs.

I hope this example helps you. Notice your negativity, Self-talk and self-help, will aid in your Journey Full of Health, remember this is a journey not a destination. ❤

 

Complusive Eating: A Resolution

After yesterday’s post I broke my eating regiment again. I woke up knowing I needed to do more. Over eating just isn’t for me and only occurs at night time. So as usual I did more research. I want an online support community and in time I’ll invest in building one. For now, I came across oa.org, a non profit that offers 12 step sessions for over eaters. They have twelve steps with twelve principles plus twelve traditions that tie them internationally to the same regulations.
Here’s what I found (visit the site for more info):
OA is not just about weight loss, weight gain or maintenance, or obesity or diets. It addresses physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. It is not a religious organization and does not promote any particular diet.
Steps:
The Twelve Steps of Overeaters Anonymous
We admitted we were powerless over food — that our lives had become unmanageable.
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to compulsive overeaters and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Principles:
Step One: Honesty
Step Two: Hope
Step Three: Faith
Step Four: Courage
Step Five: Integrity
Step Six: Willingness
Step Seven: Humility
Step Eight: Self-discipline
Step Nine: Love for others
Step Ten: Perseverance
Step Eleven: Spiritual Awareness
Step Twelve: Service
Traditions:
Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon OA unity.
For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority — a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
The only requirement for OA membership is a desire to stop eating compulsively.
Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or OA as a whole.
Each group has but one primary purpose — to carry its message to the compulsive overeater who still suffers.
An OA group ought never endorse, finance or lend the OA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
Every OA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
Overeaters Anonymous should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
OA, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
Overeaters Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the OA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films, television and other public media of communication.
Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all these Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

I do get a religious vibe even tho the website says they have no political or religious views. I know for some that may pose as something you want to take into consideration. It’s free, I think it’s worth looking into maybe even attending a meeting? I’m going to see if I can join a local program, it’ll definitely help and it couldn’t hurt.

Compulsive Eating: Addiction

In our case, addiction involves us repeatedly eating for some form of pleasure or relief even though we understand it’s not healthy for us.

Triggers

Anxiety

Stress

Pressure

Insecurity

(Many more they are genuine to each individual)

We experience some kind of trigger and in return eat our problems away. The only bad part is we feel bad afterwards, its unhealthy, and our problems are still there. We have to learn to deal with our triggers in healthy ways. As I stated in my previous post, most people have addictions. It’s hard dealing with life’s obstacles and maintaining balance. Triggers cause people to overindulge or use things for relief. In fact, when most of us developed our eating addictions we were not aware. I developed mine as a child and I had no idea it would have these life long implications. I just found pleasure in flavor and relief through eating.

I can say that little by little our addictions can become less significant. They will not control us for ever and we can develop skills to avoid relapse.

Compulsive Eating: Emotional Eating

I define compulsive eating as the desire to eat for comfort. Food haunts us at times, like any other obsessive thought once you develop a food desire its hard to free your mind of it.  This serves as a problem because both over and under eating affects our nutritional level. Over consuming food can deter results and under eating food causes deficiency. We need balance by eating for nourishment.

If you’re seeking to become healthier and suffer from compulsive eating this may be your biggest battle. Understand that this addiction can be overcome and that it’s something you will work on for the remainder of your life. YOU CAN DO IT! Its important to understand what emotional eating is, to mindfully address your impulses. In doing research I came across great information about emotional eating on the  HelpGuide.org website, they are a nonprofit that provide a lot of self help information. Visit the site for more detailed information.

Emotional Eating:

Hunger that comes on suddenly.

Craves only certain foods.

Leads to mindless eating.

Leaves you unsatisfied when even after your full.

Is not located in your stomach.

Often times leads to regret, guilt, or shame.

If you experience these things in relationship with eating your likely an emotional eater. That’s okay, the first step is recognizing the problem. Now you can address these urges as they come and begin to talk yourself out of it. I write, draw, meditate, or deal with whats causing me stress head on when I feel my compulsive eating coming. I stop and self talk: “Bianca, your not hungry what’s really bothering you?” Most people have some form of addiction they retreat to for comfort, food is ours. This is the first step to kicking that addiction and replacing it with something positive.

Again for more information: http://www.helpguide.org/life/emotional_eating_stress_cravings.htm